29 weeks down, 11 to go!

Time for the countdown to begin!  Only 11 weeks until Miss Lilly is due to enter this world!  This pregnancy has been the hardest so far, but I have learned soo very much, not only about me personally, but about my choices in the process.

I have learned, pretty much form the moment of conception of this little miracle, that things will seldom go as planned.  I have had to develop patience as one problem has led to another from the start.  I have been but on orders to "take it easy" from 8 weeks on due to bleeding, cramping and lately, preterm labor.  I love that term...take it easy...very easy for a male Dr to tell you, when it's not him that has 3 other kids, one of which is only 2 to take care of, not to mention the husband that hangs around the house now and then! 

I have had to sit out the preparations for all the major holidays since Thanksgiving, and learn that even if it's not my hand that makes it, it's still okay, and people will like it anyway.  I have even let my big girls start cooking and helping me make dinners and some of the big meals for the whole family, something that i never would have let happen before.

I have learned that the laundry can be done by someone other than me, and turn out clean, and that if it doesn't get done, the world will NOT end!

Those are things I've learned about me.  And as i can't really get out of this little apartment and meet people here in the new town, I have turned to learning all I can about the process of birth, and boy, let me tell you, i have learned alot!  Much to the dismay of some members of my family, who are afraid that someday soon they will find me out in the middle of nowhere, bare naked children running, armpit hair streaming, reusing our own garbage and eating bugs!  Rest assured people, I have no intention of letting my armpit hair grow long enough for braids!

But i do intend to have as close to a natural home birth as i can get.  I will have to be at a hospital, insurance company won't pay for a midwife with my history or I WOULD have this baby at home.  And besides, living in an apartment, I'm not sure what the poor neighbors would think of all the noise, I'm not exactly quiet in labor.   I will not be having any epidural, pain meds, or any of the sort.  Miss Lilly will not be getting some of the typical interventions given to newborns just because they do it to all babies. 

I plan on cloth diapering, not because I am big on saving the planet, but because with prices the way they are going, it will be cheaper in the long run, and they are less irritating to babies bottom too!  I breastfeed out of connivance for me.  I know that it's for the best, but hey, let's face it, who wants to wash, dry, mix and store all those bottles?  I happen to be equipped with 2 precleaned, premixed and ready to go "bottles" that go everywhere i do!  SCORE!

I am at peace with the choices  I have made for the baby and me, and for my family.  I only wish others would stop trying to "show me the craziness of my thinking".  We will be fine, safe, and happy. Just like i wish for every other mother out there.  Find what works for you, find your peace, and be happy!