Peace

It seems strange to feel at peace with all that's going on in my world.  But i have found a fragment of it, even in the chaos.  I know that the Lord is with my little family, even when i feel all alone, I'm not.  Watching my belly move as Hope wiggles made me realize something today.  Her brain is only need to make her physical body function.  It controls physical movements and thoughts.  She doesn't need it inside  me.  Her physical world is controlled by my body connected to hers right now.  All function goes through me, she has no need of the pieces of her that are missing, she is safe.
Now don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean she's just laying in there, because i can tell you for a fact she's not!  We even have an ultrasound picture of her sticking her tongue out!  Her spirit is what most prominent with her right now.  I am so blessed to be carrying a child with a spirit as brave and strong and special as this little girl.  I carry right now, not only my spirit, which is bruised and battered from this world, but hers as well, that is untainted and whole.  Without her strength, added to my weakness, and the arm of the Lord to lean on, I'm certain I wouldn't be able to walk this path.
I can see that while I have been grieving her death, i should have been celebrating her life, just as i did with all my girls.  She may not make a huge mark on the world, like i hope her sisters do.  Her make will be important just the same.